Baby I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song

Parents want good things for their children. In the least, we want them to be happy and successful. While happiness and success are different things to different parents, we share one thing in common - We look at our little ones, searching for some indication that we have thrown enough at them and something is sticking! We look for a little glimmer of hope here or there that we are actually planting little seeds of goodness in them.

Today my child presented me a beautiful sign that I am on the right path and that I have planted some good seeds in his soul. It brought a tear to my eye, and made my day COMPLETE.

Bath time is song time. I usually stream Pandora on my phone for him. Usually something mellow. Recently we have alternated between the "Peter, Paul, and Mary" station and "The Beatles" station. Tonight - The Beatles.

The song Yesterday came on. The splashing stopped, the Thomas tub toys were abandoned. He sat cross legged, and was swishing his arms through the water, very gently, and quietly. I was singing, and he started humming along, occasionally matching pitch. When it finished - he gave his signature cheesy smile (ear to ear, with eyes squished near closed, and a big goofy head nod).

"Did you like it?"
"Yes yes. Do it again. I need it again. Make it loud and play again!"
"Daniel, I can't. The radio doesn't work like that"
He sighed, in a very dramatic, emo-teen fashion, and hung his head for a moment, then he looked up at me.
"Mommy I just neeeeeeeed Yesterday. It's my favorite"

I was speechless. My sweet darling child, a Beatles fan. Praise.

I've been singing I saw her standing there to him since birth. While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Blackbird are on his lullaby play list. He rocks out to the live version of Twist Shout. John Lennon's Greatest Hits CD never leaves my car. We've watched Yellow Submarine, he has watched my friends and I play Beatles Rock Band, I've tried to explain to him significance of the Sgt. Pepper album, and have preached to him how truly underrated the Revolver album is...and now I know, it has not be in vain.


I call that picture "Pissed off because there is no repeat option on Pandora and mommy's promises to play it for me off of the computer later will not suffice".

Gold Stars

I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to put the words out into the universe only to have to eat them. There is a CHANCE that I MAY (or may not) be willing to POSSIBLY admit that there have been SOME indicators that MAYBE (perhaps?) the majority of the "terrible 2's" COULD be behind us.

I attribute this upswing to two things - 1) The blessing that is Aunt Jenny as his caretaker during the day, and 2) his sudden explosive maturity in language and cognitive abilities. The Aunt Jenny factor deserves a blog unto itself - - but basically it is the *perfect* childcare situation for D. It is as close to the upbringing I had (which was family only), and he responds to it beautifully. How could you not - it is love. My child is being cared for AND loved. The second factor - language and maturity - could not come fast enough for me.

I HATED having to discipline him in a "cause and effect manner". I know other kids who are his age would actually STOP and contemplate a negative behavior, but not my kid. NEVER. No amount of consistency, and no consequence phased him. No amount of praise and positive reinforcement made a permanent change in his behavior.

But recently, we have a change! His emotions are not so black and white, nor are they as PMS-mood-swing-tinged either. He has pride, motivation, empathy, self awareness...I have watched him think things over, and then act. I'm SO HAPPY to play to those new characteristics to motivate his good behavior.

Behold - - the ghetto reward chart


Yes, that does say "poop on the potty", and yes, it is the weakest link on the star chart. He did however manage to get the requisite stars soon after that pic was taken. It was all he had left - - the only obstacle between him and his beloved "Toy Story". He came out of the bathroom, smirking.

"Mommy...i peed"
"Oh yeah? Good job" I played along - I knew he had done more than pee :)
"Yup. I peed on my potty and..." dramatic pause "I POOPED FOR TOY STORY TOY STORY YAYAYAYAYAYA" he screamed, pantless, jumping up and down "GOLD STAR GOLD STAR"

He was so thrilled, and I was so proud, that I insisted we go out and get Toy Story tonight (yeah, I know...in a few years I'll be posing the question "Where the HELL does he get this need for instant gratification...my god! The boy has no patience" and you can all remind me of the time I initiated the 8 p.m. run to Best Buy for a Disney movie I don't even like much.)

Call it bribery, call it positive reinforcement. I don't care. It is working, and we are all happy - - he is proud of himself. He helped pick the chores for this weeks chart:



I have to admit, it is sort of rigged. He is always good with his manners, LIKES cleaning, and he LOVES feeding the cats. But, the potty, good listening, and cleaning up toys are a challenge. As much as I want to encourage him to work on his struggles, I'm glad to be able to acknowledge and reward the chores and behaviors he does so well. Really - - how many 2 year olds do you know who like to clean the cabinets, dust, empty the dishwasher, and use the Swiffer wet jet???

My return!

Hello friends!

Mama pasta has returned. I wish had some elaborate, dramatic, and captivating story (meaning...excuse) for being absent, but I don't. Life is cyclical, with highs and lows, ebbs and flows. The start of school always wipes me out. Usually at this point, I have gotten on my feet and ready to tackle the holiday concert season. Not the case, this year. The year started off with my darling boy breaking his leg at the very start of the school year. After being set free from that cast, we had an uneventful few weeks - until Monday, when he fell over his own beloved "Caddie" the stuffed monkey and broke his toe. Because it was the same leg that had just healed, he was put in a little walking cast in hopes that he will continue to walk and keep up the muscle tone he had just regained. Happy to report, so far so good. He is walking and running around again, sporting an awesome Black and Gold Steelers themed cast inscribed with "#86 will you marry my mama?".

Our fall was full of pumpkin patches, playgrounds, and Halloween cookies. I'm looking forward to Christmas with him. He doesn't actually know anything about Santa, or the traditions, but he LOVES Christmas lights, presents, and festivities. He must get that from his great-grandma :)

Potty training is in full swing, and is pretty low stress-I guess because I'm happy with his progress, and it isn't really topping my priority list. I've been more interested in taking advantage of his interest in learning his numbers, letters, shapes, and colors. He likes playing with his flash cards - he calls it practicing, and he is showing interest in violin. "Take a turn NOW mama?" he asks when my last private student leaves.

He still struggles with his temper and obedience, and I still struggle with utter exhaustion. But, there is time-out and coffee and we carry on.