Gold Stars

I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to put the words out into the universe only to have to eat them. There is a CHANCE that I MAY (or may not) be willing to POSSIBLY admit that there have been SOME indicators that MAYBE (perhaps?) the majority of the "terrible 2's" COULD be behind us.

I attribute this upswing to two things - 1) The blessing that is Aunt Jenny as his caretaker during the day, and 2) his sudden explosive maturity in language and cognitive abilities. The Aunt Jenny factor deserves a blog unto itself - - but basically it is the *perfect* childcare situation for D. It is as close to the upbringing I had (which was family only), and he responds to it beautifully. How could you not - it is love. My child is being cared for AND loved. The second factor - language and maturity - could not come fast enough for me.

I HATED having to discipline him in a "cause and effect manner". I know other kids who are his age would actually STOP and contemplate a negative behavior, but not my kid. NEVER. No amount of consistency, and no consequence phased him. No amount of praise and positive reinforcement made a permanent change in his behavior.

But recently, we have a change! His emotions are not so black and white, nor are they as PMS-mood-swing-tinged either. He has pride, motivation, empathy, self awareness...I have watched him think things over, and then act. I'm SO HAPPY to play to those new characteristics to motivate his good behavior.

Behold - - the ghetto reward chart


Yes, that does say "poop on the potty", and yes, it is the weakest link on the star chart. He did however manage to get the requisite stars soon after that pic was taken. It was all he had left - - the only obstacle between him and his beloved "Toy Story". He came out of the bathroom, smirking.

"Mommy...i peed"
"Oh yeah? Good job" I played along - I knew he had done more than pee :)
"Yup. I peed on my potty and..." dramatic pause "I POOPED FOR TOY STORY TOY STORY YAYAYAYAYAYA" he screamed, pantless, jumping up and down "GOLD STAR GOLD STAR"

He was so thrilled, and I was so proud, that I insisted we go out and get Toy Story tonight (yeah, I know...in a few years I'll be posing the question "Where the HELL does he get this need for instant gratification...my god! The boy has no patience" and you can all remind me of the time I initiated the 8 p.m. run to Best Buy for a Disney movie I don't even like much.)

Call it bribery, call it positive reinforcement. I don't care. It is working, and we are all happy - - he is proud of himself. He helped pick the chores for this weeks chart:



I have to admit, it is sort of rigged. He is always good with his manners, LIKES cleaning, and he LOVES feeding the cats. But, the potty, good listening, and cleaning up toys are a challenge. As much as I want to encourage him to work on his struggles, I'm glad to be able to acknowledge and reward the chores and behaviors he does so well. Really - - how many 2 year olds do you know who like to clean the cabinets, dust, empty the dishwasher, and use the Swiffer wet jet???