6 months and counting

I mentioned early that my friend Gayle (of Oprah and Gayle fame) told me that every other year is a good one with young kids, and you just learn to love them in between. For a few days, I thought I was off the hook! I thought we were on a 6 month rotation - but alas, we are not.

We had about 9 days of AH-MAY-ZING baby behavior. So sweet! So pleasant, so fun! He was starting to say please and thank you and was transitioning so well between playtime, clean up time, time to leave, time to eat... Those days have come to a screeching halt, and I am back to counting the days until he turns two. I swear, I am looking forward to the 'terrible twos' - anything to get me out of the 'my child is a crazed, flesh eating, tantrum throwing, impatient, and self centered' one a half year old phase.

Within the span of three days, he learned "mine". He started saying "no". He started saying "no, mine!" in glorious harmony. He has gotten rougher with his little buddy at daycare, and his tantrums have gotten very physical, very abrupt, angry, and frequent. Today, I felt like a complete and utter failure as a mother. I picked him up from daycare and he flew into a total rage. Nothing helped (distractions, force, tricks, toys...). There was biting, kicking, thrashing, and clinging to the car. If I wasn't on my way BACK to work, I wold have cried my eyes out with him.

Im not sure where we are going wrong. I am consistent. I do not give in to his tantrums (every book says they will lessen if the child doesn't get his way). I also pick my battles. However, the battle to leave daycare is non-negotiable. The battle to not hit or bite me is non-negotiable. I am sick of the 'its a normal phase' crap too. I know that, but it still has to get under control.

So, here I am, getting ready to dive into my three favorite parenting books - "The Everything Guide to Tantrums", "What to Expect, the Toddler Years", and "the complete single parent". I have decided to attack it this time like a teacher ;-) I am making making note cards to laminate. I shall put my parenting tips and tools on paper! I shall carry them with me to study at red lights! And, the next time he terrorizes me at Target, and I can look down at my note cards and remember that leaving him in the display of pack and plays will not, in the long run, be effective.

I think my first note card with address the no sharing issue. The front will read:

Your child is egocentric, self-centered, and impulsive. Congrats - he's developing normally.

The back will list all the techniques for dealing with that (when I figure it out!).

My next card will be my friendly "naughty corner" tips from Supernanny (although, thanks to repetition, I pretty much have that down, and thank goodness its still pretty effective!)

I will continue my cards, and hopefully keep my sanity! I know tomorrow, for at least the first 10 minutes of the day, when in his eyes, I can do no wrong, I will not be an epic failure of a mom.

How to make a toddler stationary

In just a few easy steps, you to can have a child that is essentially glued in place. For this situation, I used a cell phone, however, I believe any 'forbidden' item that can be attached to a wall will work.

1) dangle cell phone in front of child
2) lure him to desired location
3) plug cell phone into the wall
4) allow child to handle forbidden item-watch and enjoy

This photo was taken 4 minutes after he was lured to the chair. This is the longest amount of time he has spent sitting (unrestrained) since learning to walk on his cast. 4 minutes of mommy heaven. Enough time to pee AND wash my hands!!!

Boo boo part 2 (also known as advice from the dairy aisle)

I think my last blog post jinxed my poor sweet baby. He got his cast on Friday and fumbled around for two days, figuring out how to make his little Frankenstein leg work. By Sunday, he agreed to sit and crawl across the ceramic tile and to avoid the marble front of the fireplace all together. I felt a little better when he got that much figured out, but the running around outside still made me edgy - and rightfully so.

10 days into the cast, he tripped and fell. The sitter said he cried a bit, and then wouldn't walk after that. He would stand, but no walking.

Our wonderful sitter was concerned - but she couldn't imagine him breaking a leg while already in a cast. I couldn't believe it either, but, I also doubted that he suddenly decided to be complacent and sit down and play quietly.

After a trip to the ER that night, and then a trip back to his ortho specialist, he was diagnosed with a small fracture in his femur. His below-the-knee cast was cut off, and replaced with a long cast ending at the very top of his thigh. We did get lucky though; our buddy in the cast room hooked us with a waterproof cast without the extra cost. We also got lucky on our way out the door, when the doctor realized he would be on vacation when Daniel was scheduled to get his cast off. After a bit of negotiating, he knocked a week off - yay! Only 3 weeks of peg leg toddler fun!

His new cast has drawn attention, since it is bigger, and since it is red and blue with giant white stars (NOT my choice...the guy who put it on wanted to match the cast to Daniel's outfit). I have been approached by complete strangers every time we have been in the grocery store since he broke his leg.

It always starts off the same....

STRANGER: "oh no! What happen to your baby's leg?"

ME: "he fell down"

STRANGER: "and broke his leg? did he fall off of something?"

ME: "No, actually he has a genetic condition. His bones are more fragile because of defective collagen"

STRANGER "Oh thats too bad! Poor baby! Do you think milk or extra calcium would help?"

Then I'm forced to explain why they're an idiot, when the entire time I WISH I SAID:

ME "My GOD! You have just saved my son and thousands of others from years of suffering. Clearly, NO ONE has thought of that until you just did...amazing, since we're standing in the f'ing dairy aisle. You are a genius. Please take your findings to the OI foundation IMMEDIATELY so we can finally cure this disease. After that, nominate yourself for a Nobel Prize"

I mean, seriously?!?!?!? What part of "genetic defect" made you think cheese and yogurt was the way to go? AND, you really thought dairy was a cure-all, do you think his leg would be broken now?!?!? Today in the store, a teenage boy saved his mother from me spurting out some horribly rude reply. She was going through the usual questions, and right when I thought she was going to say something stupid about milk and calcium, her skater/punk teenage son who had been giving Daniel high fives interupts her and says "dude, that kinda sucks, huh buddy? Guess you should stay off a skateboard when you get bigger". The mom looked mortified, but, I however, enjoyed his completely logical, appropriate, and non-dairy related suggestion. I told the kid he was right, and scooted away before the yogurt lecture could begin!

Sounds like a plan - no skateboarding so things don't suck. I love it!!!